2 Samuel 9:8
“What is thy servant, that thou shouldest look upon such
a dead dog as I am?"
They
talked about me. They laughed at me. They told me I would never
be anything great. However, look at me now!!! I am what God says
I am!!! Thank you great I AM. I no longer reside in Lodebar. I
have claimed and taken my seat at the table.
I’m a 35-year-old African American male who literally defied
the odds and chose life. After being left for dead in the woods,
battling with a seizure disorder (which left me with two broken
shoulders), suffering from three permanent disabilities, a loss
of memory, living in shelters/streets, having an anxiety disorder,
an eating disorder, suffering from depression/PTSD, two suicide
attempts and becoming an alcoholic, I can honestly say God was
not finished with me yet, because I’m still alive!!!
When all hope was gone…that’s when God stepped in.
After losing a good portion of my memory, what I do remember shocks
me. I remember being involved in a gang called the P. O. W’s.
I remember the first time I actually robbed an individual. I remember
the few times I sold drugs. I remember being a victim of a drive
by shooting. That was the first time I experienced losing a child-hood
friend. I remember the funerals, which I attended. I remember
life being about getting paid, smoking weed, having the ladies
and going to parties. By some miracle, I never went to jail or
did time. Truly the mercy of God was on my life.
I still remember laying out in the woods injured, broken and left
for dead. I remember waking up from being unconscious and crawling
towards the highway. I remember all of my surgeries. I remember
the depression I felt while living in a Veterans shelter and drug
infested rooming house. I remember the first time I struggled
with letting go of a 40-ounce bottle of Malt Liquor. That was
the first day I became an alcoholic.
I even remember being that nine-year-old boy who first gave his
life to Christ. Unfortunately, the one thing I couldn’t
remember very well…was my family. I can still remember bits
and pieces of my child-hood and teenage life but not very many
details. I know enough to say; “I know who my family is.”
I still have that struggle with getting to know them all over
again. It’s okay, because one thing, which will never change,
is the love I have for them and God.
After overcoming death for the 3rd time, I devoted my life to
God. This is when I spiritually took my first breath of life all
over again. I feel as though the endowment of my many gifts is
God’s way of telling me to share my story of His power,
mercy, grace, and love. He wants the world to know, I’m
another example of restoration, change and what a living testimony
truly is. God wants people to witness His glory not man’s!!!
If you were to look at me, you would never know, I’ve gone
through such horrific things. I indeed have the favor of God on
my life. This is why I’m so devoted to Him. I’m determined
to never become self-righteous, self-seeking or sell-out, because
I realize I’m truly a walking miracle. God and I both know
what the deal is. We have an understanding. He kept me alive and
delivered me from turmoil, danger and confusion. In turn, I am
to devote my life to HIM. God has too much invested in me.
Matthew 11:28
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will
give you rest."
